Stuck in a tragicomedy
Mar. 29th, 2024 11:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disappointed_lesbianI'm so goddamned tired of having unpleasant interactions with people.
This is why I've quit all the forums I was on (which was not many). But I took a risk and went back to one because I needed some information. But there was a misunderstanding I think (as there often is, apparently). I guess I can be done with it now.
Or try, at least.
I feel irritated when this happens now because I should know better at this point and simply avoid. But I needed the information, dammit.
I hope to never go back to that forum.
It seems that I must go to southern California to get warm. Places within a hundred miles of here get plenty warm in the summer but are all rather cold in winter. I don't know anything about that region so I have some more research to do, then I'll have to travel and check it out. I don't want to move that far.
I have a medical appointment coming up, so I will again try to get help with my chronic coldness but I don't expect it to be resolved.
I'm exhausted and irritated and I'm trying to soothe myself with a story I wrote, but I cannot find the damned story on this computer.
Ok, I just found it. Too bad nothing in reality is soothing. I need to do something about my reality. But I'm so tired all the time. I finally got around to seeking a doctor with autism expertise. No, this is the second time; I gave up last time because I couldn't find the resources I needed. If I find this doctor, maybe I can finally get a solution to my chronic insomnia, which is one of my biggest, most devastating problems.
I'm looking forward to next month because I will be prepared to buy some graded readers (which I need to progress in Czech) and perhaps some sort of heating aparatus for my bedroom. The heated blanket does indeed emit too much radiation, which I verified by shutting it off early and not using it at all, to which my body responded with less fatigue. (Ok I guess that doesn't actually prove that radiation is the problem, but what else can it be? It's not the temperature. ) But I get too cold to sleep or stay asleep without the blanket.
So I'm back to heating up rocks in my toaster oven, but I don't have enough rocks to heat all the bedclothes, and I wake up early, once the bedclothes have chilled. I'm stuck in some sort of bizarre tragicomedy, unable to sleep with the heated blanket and unable to sleep without it.
This is why I've quit all the forums I was on (which was not many). But I took a risk and went back to one because I needed some information. But there was a misunderstanding I think (as there often is, apparently). I guess I can be done with it now.
Or try, at least.
I feel irritated when this happens now because I should know better at this point and simply avoid. But I needed the information, dammit.
I hope to never go back to that forum.
It seems that I must go to southern California to get warm. Places within a hundred miles of here get plenty warm in the summer but are all rather cold in winter. I don't know anything about that region so I have some more research to do, then I'll have to travel and check it out. I don't want to move that far.
I have a medical appointment coming up, so I will again try to get help with my chronic coldness but I don't expect it to be resolved.
I'm exhausted and irritated and I'm trying to soothe myself with a story I wrote, but I cannot find the damned story on this computer.
Ok, I just found it. Too bad nothing in reality is soothing. I need to do something about my reality. But I'm so tired all the time. I finally got around to seeking a doctor with autism expertise. No, this is the second time; I gave up last time because I couldn't find the resources I needed. If I find this doctor, maybe I can finally get a solution to my chronic insomnia, which is one of my biggest, most devastating problems.
I'm looking forward to next month because I will be prepared to buy some graded readers (which I need to progress in Czech) and perhaps some sort of heating aparatus for my bedroom. The heated blanket does indeed emit too much radiation, which I verified by shutting it off early and not using it at all, to which my body responded with less fatigue. (Ok I guess that doesn't actually prove that radiation is the problem, but what else can it be? It's not the temperature. ) But I get too cold to sleep or stay asleep without the blanket.
So I'm back to heating up rocks in my toaster oven, but I don't have enough rocks to heat all the bedclothes, and I wake up early, once the bedclothes have chilled. I'm stuck in some sort of bizarre tragicomedy, unable to sleep with the heated blanket and unable to sleep without it.
