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UNICEF, ice, unconsciousness reset, buzz
Mar. 12th, 2025 08:28 pmGoing to Bhutan as some sort of volunteer is the plan now. I'd gladly sign up for a year or more right now, to get out of this country ASAP. I'm ready enough. I survived sudden homelessness multiple times so I'm confident that I could survive a sudden move. And it would be less sudden than homelessness anyway.
I was shooting for a unicef volunteership, but they've no open positions in Bhutan. I looked at some of their other positions, in Peru, Laos, and Vietnam. The two Peru positions require fluent and native Spanish skills, respectively, so they're out of the question. Similar situation in Laos. The overwhelming majority of the volunteer pool is not going to speak Laotian natively, so it's just kind of a weird requirement. I don't have the skills or interest in the Vietnam positions. No available positions in French Guiana, French Polynesia, Hong Kong, or Macau. No way in hell I'd ever even consider those shitholes Africa and the Middle East. So I just have to wait for something to open up in Bhutan or find another volunteer organization.
I'm so sleepy right now, I can barely stand up.
I was in a shit mood this evening, but I managed to bench press seventy pounds. I've been weak lately and stuck at sixty-five, so I was pleased with this development.
I'm bleeding heavily this month, soaking through pads in an hour or less. It's gross, messy, unpleasant. I feel wet a lot.
Something is wrong with the circuitry of my refrigerator, so I have to wait for the repair guy to come back with a new circuit board or a whole new fridge if the former cannot be found. Not the quick fix I was hoping for. If I don't buy another bag of ice, I'll lose my perishables. But I have only about twenty-three dollars worth of food stamps. Maybe it's better to use that money to re-buy the food rather than hoping that the fridge will be fixed or replaced before the second bag of ice melts. Unpleasant options I have.
As annoying as it is to stumble through my bedtime preparations, I rather enjoy being so sleepy that nothing really matters anymore. This is one of the few times I can sort-of forget, can have my troubles pushed out of my mind. Maybe the chronic insomnia, the inability to forget and reset my thoughts each night, was a major factor in my suicidality.
Nearly constant buzz of excitement in my vulva throughout this menstrual cycle, a buzz that sharpens to a sensation I don't know how to describe when I pay attention to the buzz. I want to call it a thronging, a coming together of dispersed buzzing to create, for a moment, something more centralized and intense.
It's nice to have a body that works. Even when satisfation is not so forthcoming.
I was shooting for a unicef volunteership, but they've no open positions in Bhutan. I looked at some of their other positions, in Peru, Laos, and Vietnam. The two Peru positions require fluent and native Spanish skills, respectively, so they're out of the question. Similar situation in Laos. The overwhelming majority of the volunteer pool is not going to speak Laotian natively, so it's just kind of a weird requirement. I don't have the skills or interest in the Vietnam positions. No available positions in French Guiana, French Polynesia, Hong Kong, or Macau. No way in hell I'd ever even consider those shitholes Africa and the Middle East. So I just have to wait for something to open up in Bhutan or find another volunteer organization.
I'm so sleepy right now, I can barely stand up.
I was in a shit mood this evening, but I managed to bench press seventy pounds. I've been weak lately and stuck at sixty-five, so I was pleased with this development.
I'm bleeding heavily this month, soaking through pads in an hour or less. It's gross, messy, unpleasant. I feel wet a lot.
Something is wrong with the circuitry of my refrigerator, so I have to wait for the repair guy to come back with a new circuit board or a whole new fridge if the former cannot be found. Not the quick fix I was hoping for. If I don't buy another bag of ice, I'll lose my perishables. But I have only about twenty-three dollars worth of food stamps. Maybe it's better to use that money to re-buy the food rather than hoping that the fridge will be fixed or replaced before the second bag of ice melts. Unpleasant options I have.
As annoying as it is to stumble through my bedtime preparations, I rather enjoy being so sleepy that nothing really matters anymore. This is one of the few times I can sort-of forget, can have my troubles pushed out of my mind. Maybe the chronic insomnia, the inability to forget and reset my thoughts each night, was a major factor in my suicidality.
Nearly constant buzz of excitement in my vulva throughout this menstrual cycle, a buzz that sharpens to a sensation I don't know how to describe when I pay attention to the buzz. I want to call it a thronging, a coming together of dispersed buzzing to create, for a moment, something more centralized and intense.
It's nice to have a body that works. Even when satisfation is not so forthcoming.
