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Enculturation vs Personal Identity
Feb. 9th, 2025 07:11 pmI think I was searching for a better platform for dating gnc people when I came across yet another one of the ridiculous discussions queers have amongst themselves:
https://old.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/hue21e/i_had_yet_another_trans_person_tell_me_that_my/?rdt=42186
The OP seems to have a valid complaint (not sure what she thinks gnc is, however) and some of the comments make good points, but the ideas that "nonbinary and genderqueer identities should only help out binary identities, trans or cis, by making it more acceptable to, like, even question gender let alone live an authentic life" and "non-binary folks totally advance the cause for equality" are just...they are so off the mark, I can't even quite call them wrong.
The problem with all these gender-based "identities" is that the theory behind them casts gender as a matter of personal identity, personal choice. But people don't conform to gender roles primarily out of choice; they conform because they've been brainwashed to do so since they were infants and have thereby internalized them, and because of the threat of social exclusion, discrimination, violence, and other consequences of non-conformity. Turning a baby into a gendered individual is an abusive cultural practice, one that robs everyone of part of our individuality for no legitimate reason, and, in most societies, disadvantages females in particular.
People don't really "identify" with that process of genderization; it is something that is imposed upon us beginning before we can even understand, or, in most cases, remember (some autistic people can remember their infancy, reportedly). They do not "identify" as a gendered being so much as they were all but forced to be one and know no other reality, can see no other possibility in some cases. so much as they are brainwashed and/or socially hemmed in so thoroughly that they continue gendered practices, mostly on autopilot, generally for the rest of their lives (the brainwashing includes the inculcation of disgust with, alientation from, and fear of gender non-conformity).
Some people may feel like gender conformity is their personal choice or entirely a part of their personality, but that's a reflection of how deep-rooted the brainwashing is. People feel the same way about other aspects of culture, but having grown up in a particular culture is and always has been the strongest predictor of whether a given person will like and adopt any of the elements of that culture, as is the case with gendered cultural elements: the people who are most likely to like and engage in stuff coded feminine are always the people who were raised to do so. This close and enduring association suggests that something beyond personal preference determines a person's relationship to gendered cultural elements, just as the clustering of Muslims in Muslim countries suggests something other than Muslims' personal preference of religion.
So "binary identities" and "non-binary identities" are not at all the same sort of thing. (There is however, some similarity between the two because "non-binary" identities are reactionary and defined entirely in relationship to gender roles—except, I guess, for the people claiming to be transmed non-binary, which they say is about sex).
Not only does the concept of personal gender misrepresent forced/internalized gender roles as personal identity, the activist goal of "equality" between the two
Oh goddamn, I just realized that I do have all the parts I need for my new/old humidifier to work. The component in the image I couldn't figure out was just turned upside down. Sleep is really important.
I don't feel like writing this shit anymore, I lost my train of thought, and it's long enough anyways. Maybe I'll continue on another day. It's that time of day when I'm no longer drowsy, the sun is shining, I finally got my new flashcard software running early this afternoon after days of struggling and missing out on study time, that humidier should start misting soon, and so I feel relatively good. Accomplished. I'll feel even more accomplished once I go get my supply of salad greens and complete today's bench press workout.
My head is just now starting to hurt, I don't want to eat again, I'm tempted to take my migraine medication. I'll just have some miso soup.
I took a screw out of the humidifier last night, and I don't know what I did with it. Stupid.
What's funny is that, when I logged onto one of the social networking sites I haven't been on in a long time today, there was a friend request from some guy who lists himself as non-binary. Instant rejection. Even leaving all the theory aside, the sorts of personality traits that lead a person to adopt the non-binary label all but guarantee that the person will be insufferable. I could have read the profile to try to confirm, but I think I decided to not waste my time. Sometimes I can't bear to read the cringe, the narcissism, .
I think the inside of my nose got so dry from my running the heater all the time, the inner skin cracked and partially healed and now, every time I move my face the wrong way, the wound re-opens. Horrible feeling.
https://old.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/hue21e/i_had_yet_another_trans_person_tell_me_that_my/?rdt=42186
The OP seems to have a valid complaint (not sure what she thinks gnc is, however) and some of the comments make good points, but the ideas that "nonbinary and genderqueer identities should only help out binary identities, trans or cis, by making it more acceptable to, like, even question gender let alone live an authentic life" and "non-binary folks totally advance the cause for equality" are just...they are so off the mark, I can't even quite call them wrong.
The problem with all these gender-based "identities" is that the theory behind them casts gender as a matter of personal identity, personal choice. But people don't conform to gender roles primarily out of choice; they conform because they've been brainwashed to do so since they were infants and have thereby internalized them, and because of the threat of social exclusion, discrimination, violence, and other consequences of non-conformity. Turning a baby into a gendered individual is an abusive cultural practice, one that robs everyone of part of our individuality for no legitimate reason, and, in most societies, disadvantages females in particular.
People don't really "identify" with that process of genderization; it is something that is imposed upon us beginning before we can even understand, or, in most cases, remember (some autistic people can remember their infancy, reportedly). They do not "identify" as a gendered being so much as they were all but forced to be one and know no other reality, can see no other possibility in some cases. so much as they are brainwashed and/or socially hemmed in so thoroughly that they continue gendered practices, mostly on autopilot, generally for the rest of their lives (the brainwashing includes the inculcation of disgust with, alientation from, and fear of gender non-conformity).
Some people may feel like gender conformity is their personal choice or entirely a part of their personality, but that's a reflection of how deep-rooted the brainwashing is. People feel the same way about other aspects of culture, but having grown up in a particular culture is and always has been the strongest predictor of whether a given person will like and adopt any of the elements of that culture, as is the case with gendered cultural elements: the people who are most likely to like and engage in stuff coded feminine are always the people who were raised to do so. This close and enduring association suggests that something beyond personal preference determines a person's relationship to gendered cultural elements, just as the clustering of Muslims in Muslim countries suggests something other than Muslims' personal preference of religion.
So "binary identities" and "non-binary identities" are not at all the same sort of thing. (There is however, some similarity between the two because "non-binary" identities are reactionary and defined entirely in relationship to gender roles—except, I guess, for the people claiming to be transmed non-binary, which they say is about sex).
Not only does the concept of personal gender misrepresent forced/internalized gender roles as personal identity, the activist goal of "equality" between the two
Oh goddamn, I just realized that I do have all the parts I need for my new/old humidifier to work. The component in the image I couldn't figure out was just turned upside down. Sleep is really important.
I don't feel like writing this shit anymore, I lost my train of thought, and it's long enough anyways. Maybe I'll continue on another day. It's that time of day when I'm no longer drowsy, the sun is shining, I finally got my new flashcard software running early this afternoon after days of struggling and missing out on study time, that humidier should start misting soon, and so I feel relatively good. Accomplished. I'll feel even more accomplished once I go get my supply of salad greens and complete today's bench press workout.
My head is just now starting to hurt, I don't want to eat again, I'm tempted to take my migraine medication. I'll just have some miso soup.
I took a screw out of the humidifier last night, and I don't know what I did with it. Stupid.
What's funny is that, when I logged onto one of the social networking sites I haven't been on in a long time today, there was a friend request from some guy who lists himself as non-binary. Instant rejection. Even leaving all the theory aside, the sorts of personality traits that lead a person to adopt the non-binary label all but guarantee that the person will be insufferable. I could have read the profile to try to confirm, but I think I decided to not waste my time. Sometimes I can't bear to read the cringe, the narcissism, .
I think the inside of my nose got so dry from my running the heater all the time, the inner skin cracked and partially healed and now, every time I move my face the wrong way, the wound re-opens. Horrible feeling.
