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The only other times this has happened, I was homeless and therefore unable to find places where I could actually sleep. Bad memories.
I don't know why I'm so bad off today. I slept the night before last. Usually it takes days of nearly no sleep for my symptoms to get bad. It's usually the IBS symptoms and fatigue that are bad, but my IBS isn't acting up.
I finally found a good resource for learning Zhuyin Fao, which will enable me to type Chinese characters. Speaking and listening skills developing way ahead of reading and writing/typing is one of the wild things about learning Mandarin. Last week I read an online article about a guy who'd been studying the language for three years and could still barely read a newspaper. That won't be me. I have a good source for learning to read. I don't think I'll ever bother with writing, though. It's all rote memorization, and for so little gain. Most of my "writing," if any, will be done on a computer, so typing is the priority.
During my morning walk, I had to return home prematurely three times. Ten or fifteen minutes into the walk, my head started hurting because I was dehydrated, so I came back for water. This was after I'd had maybe three fourths of a can of tea with breakfast (the cans that food comes in, because I have no glasses or cups right now). I'm not sure what dehydrated me. Usually it's some sort of electric heater in contact with my body, but nothing like that had transpired beforehand. Then, an hour later, I had to return home for an urgent bathroom break. I've never had liquid go through me so quickly. The same thing happened again, an hour later (I usually do 2.5 to 3 hours of walking in the morning). It was annoying.
I'm eagerly awaiting another check from DOR. It's for three months of Internet, for which I've already paid, so the money will go towards more skincare. I'm going to get some much milder products for fading hyperpigmentation. No more TCA! Not unless I find myself in a humid environment again. I've begun to worry about how the dry air here will affect my physical appearance long-term. I hate waiting for checks over the weekend. When they don't arrive, I have to wait until Monday. And I'm always in dire need of the money. Ok, somewhat dire, not starving dire.
I missed the weekly food bank giveaway day before yesterday, so I'll be running out of food soon. I can buy some with money instead of food stamps, but I always have so little money that I try hard to make do with food stamps only.
While I was out shopping for a quilt, I bought an extractor to clear my clogged pores. It doesn't work on some of the pores; nothing comes out despite there being a visible little whitehead.
My hair is starting to look a mess while I wait to find a barber. I found a list of sensory-friendly barbers and have emailed two of them. I just don't have it in me to talk on the phone. So I'm waiting for an email reply.
I don't think I'll go out for a walk this evening; I feel exhausted and I walked into town earlier this afternoon (twice because I forgot my debit card the first time). Normally, I'm very strict about not missing walks but I don't usually feel this depleted. I think the stress of undereating is finally starting to catch up with me, both mentally and physically. I can take a few days or even a week off from the diet if I really need to. But maybe sleep will fix me up.
I tried watching a video about this (French?) woman dating a Chinese guy, but she started the video off with flirty bullshit womyn do plus there was music playing in the background (which makes speech more difficult for me to understand), so I had to turn it off. I just don't bother with womyn's videos anymore when they start with the effeminate bullshit like heavily modulating their tone of voice or jiggling around, fiddling with hair or whatever: I can't stand it anymore. It's weird and distracting. Just sit there and talk like a normal person.
Ok, I went out anyways and I'm glad I did. I was craving chocolate so I went for a protein bar. Walking always puts me in such a good mood nowadays, even though I'm walking to the point of hurting my feet daily and undereating. It was pleasant when I was doing just two hours a day, but it didn't feel as good as it does now. I need to know how much I'll need to walk to maintain once I reach my goal body composition. Given that I maintained my weight in the mid 120s on two hours per day, I'm guessing three hours a day to stay in the teens.
I'll have to figure out my caloric intake as well. I'm shifting my diet back to a higher fruit content + protein powder (along with my staple, tofu). Being on a processed food long-term is not ideal, but I have a medical condition that causes me to struggle to maintain my weight, and I'm not going to put up with that struggle. Plus the protein powder goes well with fruit and is easy to prepare. Hopefully any negative effects will be outweighed by the massive amount of minerals and antioxidants I'll be consuming. Also I always buy the cleaner protein powders.
I don't know why I'm so bad off today. I slept the night before last. Usually it takes days of nearly no sleep for my symptoms to get bad. It's usually the IBS symptoms and fatigue that are bad, but my IBS isn't acting up.
I finally found a good resource for learning Zhuyin Fao, which will enable me to type Chinese characters. Speaking and listening skills developing way ahead of reading and writing/typing is one of the wild things about learning Mandarin. Last week I read an online article about a guy who'd been studying the language for three years and could still barely read a newspaper. That won't be me. I have a good source for learning to read. I don't think I'll ever bother with writing, though. It's all rote memorization, and for so little gain. Most of my "writing," if any, will be done on a computer, so typing is the priority.
During my morning walk, I had to return home prematurely three times. Ten or fifteen minutes into the walk, my head started hurting because I was dehydrated, so I came back for water. This was after I'd had maybe three fourths of a can of tea with breakfast (the cans that food comes in, because I have no glasses or cups right now). I'm not sure what dehydrated me. Usually it's some sort of electric heater in contact with my body, but nothing like that had transpired beforehand. Then, an hour later, I had to return home for an urgent bathroom break. I've never had liquid go through me so quickly. The same thing happened again, an hour later (I usually do 2.5 to 3 hours of walking in the morning). It was annoying.
I'm eagerly awaiting another check from DOR. It's for three months of Internet, for which I've already paid, so the money will go towards more skincare. I'm going to get some much milder products for fading hyperpigmentation. No more TCA! Not unless I find myself in a humid environment again. I've begun to worry about how the dry air here will affect my physical appearance long-term. I hate waiting for checks over the weekend. When they don't arrive, I have to wait until Monday. And I'm always in dire need of the money. Ok, somewhat dire, not starving dire.
I missed the weekly food bank giveaway day before yesterday, so I'll be running out of food soon. I can buy some with money instead of food stamps, but I always have so little money that I try hard to make do with food stamps only.
While I was out shopping for a quilt, I bought an extractor to clear my clogged pores. It doesn't work on some of the pores; nothing comes out despite there being a visible little whitehead.
My hair is starting to look a mess while I wait to find a barber. I found a list of sensory-friendly barbers and have emailed two of them. I just don't have it in me to talk on the phone. So I'm waiting for an email reply.
I don't think I'll go out for a walk this evening; I feel exhausted and I walked into town earlier this afternoon (twice because I forgot my debit card the first time). Normally, I'm very strict about not missing walks but I don't usually feel this depleted. I think the stress of undereating is finally starting to catch up with me, both mentally and physically. I can take a few days or even a week off from the diet if I really need to. But maybe sleep will fix me up.
I tried watching a video about this (French?) woman dating a Chinese guy, but she started the video off with flirty bullshit womyn do plus there was music playing in the background (which makes speech more difficult for me to understand), so I had to turn it off. I just don't bother with womyn's videos anymore when they start with the effeminate bullshit like heavily modulating their tone of voice or jiggling around, fiddling with hair or whatever: I can't stand it anymore. It's weird and distracting. Just sit there and talk like a normal person.
Ok, I went out anyways and I'm glad I did. I was craving chocolate so I went for a protein bar. Walking always puts me in such a good mood nowadays, even though I'm walking to the point of hurting my feet daily and undereating. It was pleasant when I was doing just two hours a day, but it didn't feel as good as it does now. I need to know how much I'll need to walk to maintain once I reach my goal body composition. Given that I maintained my weight in the mid 120s on two hours per day, I'm guessing three hours a day to stay in the teens.
I'll have to figure out my caloric intake as well. I'm shifting my diet back to a higher fruit content + protein powder (along with my staple, tofu). Being on a processed food long-term is not ideal, but I have a medical condition that causes me to struggle to maintain my weight, and I'm not going to put up with that struggle. Plus the protein powder goes well with fruit and is easy to prepare. Hopefully any negative effects will be outweighed by the massive amount of minerals and antioxidants I'll be consuming. Also I always buy the cleaner protein powders.
