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disappointed_lesbianThe first mistake was agreeing to be this guy's penpal. I can now describe more precisely what was really wrong with his original message: it screamed pseudo-intellectual. The second message was the same, no, worse. He claims to have studied string theory and come up with his own theory about dark matter. I can tell he has no idea what he's talking about. He linked me to some of his writing and it was nothing but metaphors: the universe as a "symphony." Pseudo-science.
He also says that he sees other people as dumb. I'm dreading his next message. If he writes me again, I think I'll just tell him that I don't want to be penpals anymore. I told him that his writing was not scientific; maybe he'll get a clue and stop bullshitting, but I'm not holding my breath. Why is everyone full of shit?
The second mistake is progesterone. Perhaps it's not really a mistake and just needs some fiddling with. I'm experiencing irresistible drowsiness in the afternoons. Again. At first I figured I'd just stop taking it again, but maybe I should try adjusting the timing. I took it at nine pm last night and the drowsiness came on today around two-thirty or three pm. That's about an eighteen-hour interval. To fall asleep at eleven pm, my usual bedtime, I'd need to take it the day before, ...oh shit, at around 5 am, when I should be sleeping. I guess that's not going to work.
I also tend to feel tired throughout the day when I take it despite all the caffeine I have, so maybe it's not worth it anyhow. I'd rather go back to not sleeping than feel tired all day; it's depressing, I cannot focus, and nothing gets done. Plus I'm scared of having more mental health issues.
Today I had an even smaller midday snack and I was fine, but that's likely because I was lying down, that is, not burning much energy and not looking at a screen.
It's not my imagination; my skin problems are fading. One of them, at least, the most noticeable one. Nothing is moving quickly enough, however.
It's not just crime that makes me want to leave this country: I want to run away from the trauma I've experienced here. Leaving is one of the few things that seems like it'll make me feel any better. I have in my mind a little seed of a thought, that I should find some other way to feel better than fleeing to a country that'll soon be invaded. But it's just a seed; it's not growing yet. Growing it will be difficult.
I haven't been studying Korean, haven't felt like it at all, and I think the progesterone-induced fatigue is why. I'll be glad to be back to my old self tomorrow.
I really need to commit to taking my iron because waking up with cold feet while having a hot flash is just horrible. Too cold to sleep and too hot to sleep too, it seems. Skipping iron was another mistake.
He also says that he sees other people as dumb. I'm dreading his next message. If he writes me again, I think I'll just tell him that I don't want to be penpals anymore. I told him that his writing was not scientific; maybe he'll get a clue and stop bullshitting, but I'm not holding my breath. Why is everyone full of shit?
The second mistake is progesterone. Perhaps it's not really a mistake and just needs some fiddling with. I'm experiencing irresistible drowsiness in the afternoons. Again. At first I figured I'd just stop taking it again, but maybe I should try adjusting the timing. I took it at nine pm last night and the drowsiness came on today around two-thirty or three pm. That's about an eighteen-hour interval. To fall asleep at eleven pm, my usual bedtime, I'd need to take it the day before, ...oh shit, at around 5 am, when I should be sleeping. I guess that's not going to work.
I also tend to feel tired throughout the day when I take it despite all the caffeine I have, so maybe it's not worth it anyhow. I'd rather go back to not sleeping than feel tired all day; it's depressing, I cannot focus, and nothing gets done. Plus I'm scared of having more mental health issues.
Today I had an even smaller midday snack and I was fine, but that's likely because I was lying down, that is, not burning much energy and not looking at a screen.
It's not my imagination; my skin problems are fading. One of them, at least, the most noticeable one. Nothing is moving quickly enough, however.
It's not just crime that makes me want to leave this country: I want to run away from the trauma I've experienced here. Leaving is one of the few things that seems like it'll make me feel any better. I have in my mind a little seed of a thought, that I should find some other way to feel better than fleeing to a country that'll soon be invaded. But it's just a seed; it's not growing yet. Growing it will be difficult.
I haven't been studying Korean, haven't felt like it at all, and I think the progesterone-induced fatigue is why. I'll be glad to be back to my old self tomorrow.
I really need to commit to taking my iron because waking up with cold feet while having a hot flash is just horrible. Too cold to sleep and too hot to sleep too, it seems. Skipping iron was another mistake.
