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disappointed_lesbianMy stomach is hurting and I am miserable. More and more I have a hard time turning my mind away from the predatory behavior of men, the many instances of utter disrespect they've put me through, and the many more that girls and women after me will experience. The stress and difficulty they've added to my life, to my psych, permanently, and the paucity of options I have for dealing with it. The failure of my family, of other women, of society in general to warn if not protect me and other females from this. The generations, the thousands of years men have been doing this and the untold generations for which it will continue. The sense that I can expect no support or agreement from other womyn if I discuss how we should do something, how we should protect future generations. The lack of solidarity among women.
I never would have imagined what a shitty life mine would turn out to be.
I was sleeping almost full nights thanks to the extended-release melatonin I started taking last month; however, the dose was high (10 mg), and I was waking up very groggy every morning, so I started decreasing the dose more and more each night. I hoped to reach the point at which I could continue to sleep through the night without waking up groggy. I never reached that point, but I did reach the point at which I stopped sleeping through the night. As of last night, I've given up on this experiment. I tried adding melatonin back into my pre-bedtime routine a little at a time, but it somehow wasn't enough and I got no sleep last night, which is probably why my stomach is hurting so much (the less sleep I get, the more problems I have with digestion). So I'm going back to half the pill tonight even though I expect that to make me groggy. Better groggy than in pain.
Perhaps I need to decrease the dose over time rather than looking for whatever is my current minimum effective dose night after night.
I'm still not ready to benefit from Rosetta Stone Russian. Need to study more grammar. Russian grammar is insane.
