A taste of intellectual stimulation
Feb. 17th, 2026 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disappointed_lesbianToday started off slow because I got up a bit late then spent the morning trying to pivot my Mandarin flashcard creation process to a less resource-intensive web browser. I couldn't get Chinese characters to render on the main online dictionary I use, so I eventually gave up.
I called the county social services office and was told that I'd have to go into an office to get a voucher to cover costs of state i.d. renewal. I felt a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of getting through everything I wanted to do today, probably particularly because hunger was making me anxious and unable to think clearly. I forced myself to finish studying my new vocab and three sets of dumbbell chest press. I even cycled on my spinning bike (which I tend to skip) for a good spell. I had a late lunch, then made it out of the apartment in time to catch the inter-city bus.
I had a moderately long wait in the office, but it wasn't too loud there. I even managed to read a little, until yet another person pulled out a cell phone and began playing it aloud. I got out of there in time to catch the next bus home.
On the ride into town, I'd started reading John Zerzan's Future Primitive Revisited, a series of essays about life outside of civilization, and, particularly, how it was/is superior to life inside civilization. I found it a bit soothing to read. Maybe it's nice to feel that at least one person who's also trapped here in the insane asylum knows that things don't have to be this way, that things are/were better on the outside, that gadgets and governments really are not the best that life has to offer, and that humans aren't inevitably doomed to oppressive, hierarchical social structures.
I doubt that the mass of humanity will get anywhere close to the state of non-civilization ever again, however. The last non-civilized people will die out or be steamrolled over by the machine of civilization, and the secrets of paradise will die with them. The best I can hope for for human beings is extinction.
It's eleven sixteen pm and I just noticed that I completely forgot about the dental checkup I was supposed to have today. I have too many things going on. Which is curious because my life is so empty. Perhaps it isn't empty so much as it's too full of bullshit. Such as health problems that make remembering difficult.
I recently joined a new forum. I've been avoiding posting much beyond help requests because I don't know what kind of people participate on the forum; it's not very active. I'm generally wary of new online spaces because I've come across so many idiots and assholes online. But I've been dying for intellectual stimulation, so I gave in. I read the responses today and they were all ok: not stupid or randomly hostile/combative. I had a surprisingly stimulating time thinking up a response to the first reply. It put me in a good mood and made very aware of how much I'm missing intellectually in my life. I'm trying to find that feeling with a human being in fleshspace.
My new keyboard arrived today. It's not as comfortable as the other kids' keyboards I've used. I don't like how far I have to press down to activate keys. Perhaps the space between keys could be a little smaller. My new pants arrived too, but I haven't opened the package. I know that they fit because I bought the same size from the same company that I got my shorts from last summer. It'll be so nice to wear pants without dealing with the cuffs dragging the ground.
I called the county social services office and was told that I'd have to go into an office to get a voucher to cover costs of state i.d. renewal. I felt a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of getting through everything I wanted to do today, probably particularly because hunger was making me anxious and unable to think clearly. I forced myself to finish studying my new vocab and three sets of dumbbell chest press. I even cycled on my spinning bike (which I tend to skip) for a good spell. I had a late lunch, then made it out of the apartment in time to catch the inter-city bus.
I had a moderately long wait in the office, but it wasn't too loud there. I even managed to read a little, until yet another person pulled out a cell phone and began playing it aloud. I got out of there in time to catch the next bus home.
On the ride into town, I'd started reading John Zerzan's Future Primitive Revisited, a series of essays about life outside of civilization, and, particularly, how it was/is superior to life inside civilization. I found it a bit soothing to read. Maybe it's nice to feel that at least one person who's also trapped here in the insane asylum knows that things don't have to be this way, that things are/were better on the outside, that gadgets and governments really are not the best that life has to offer, and that humans aren't inevitably doomed to oppressive, hierarchical social structures.
I doubt that the mass of humanity will get anywhere close to the state of non-civilization ever again, however. The last non-civilized people will die out or be steamrolled over by the machine of civilization, and the secrets of paradise will die with them. The best I can hope for for human beings is extinction.
It's eleven sixteen pm and I just noticed that I completely forgot about the dental checkup I was supposed to have today. I have too many things going on. Which is curious because my life is so empty. Perhaps it isn't empty so much as it's too full of bullshit. Such as health problems that make remembering difficult.
I recently joined a new forum. I've been avoiding posting much beyond help requests because I don't know what kind of people participate on the forum; it's not very active. I'm generally wary of new online spaces because I've come across so many idiots and assholes online. But I've been dying for intellectual stimulation, so I gave in. I read the responses today and they were all ok: not stupid or randomly hostile/combative. I had a surprisingly stimulating time thinking up a response to the first reply. It put me in a good mood and made very aware of how much I'm missing intellectually in my life. I'm trying to find that feeling with a human being in fleshspace.
My new keyboard arrived today. It's not as comfortable as the other kids' keyboards I've used. I don't like how far I have to press down to activate keys. Perhaps the space between keys could be a little smaller. My new pants arrived too, but I haven't opened the package. I know that they fit because I bought the same size from the same company that I got my shorts from last summer. It'll be so nice to wear pants without dealing with the cuffs dragging the ground.
