The Nutritionist, My Crush, Fandom Shit
Sep. 4th, 2025 04:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disappointed_lesbianI worked up the courage to tell my friend about my consuming crush on the endo. He suggested that I try to chat the guy up but I think he is way too optimistic. The risk of rejection is high and I just don't have it in me to deal with it. It's high because I don't know this guy at all, plus I'm weird, poor, and have skin problems. I have been thinking about trying to make a little more conversation during my next appointment, but that's not likely to go anywhere. I must be subtle because I don't want to risk creating an awkward vibe between us. I don't want my medical appointments to become emotionally unbearable. I don't even know whether I'd need to see him more than one more time. Ideally I could find someone through normal dating channels and forget all about the doctor. There are just so many obstacles to finding anyone.
I'm lonely now that I have this crush and it's difficult to ignore but there's not much I can do but focus on becoming employed. I'm becoming desperate for work.
Last night was a success. I had half a cup of cornstarch mixed into some water just before going to bed, and, according to the reader, my blood glucose level did not tank. I think I had too much dark chocolate too late in the evening to sleep much last night, but I hope that tonight I can manage a full night's worth of sleep.
I saw the nutritionist today and she basically suggested that I have more fat to prevent my blood sugar from dropping. I told her I was already having walnuts and about a tablespoon of mixed seeds during my first meal, and she suggested adding another tablespoon of seeds. That seems like a lot of fat calories. I don't want to decrease the amount of carbs I eat to accommodate more calories from fat because fat is less satisfying than carbs, and I don't want to increase my suffering on this diet.
Another headache today, took my migraine meds but the headache hasn't gone away.
I hate fandom shit now. I'm so sick of every other person online acting like the TV shows they like constitute some sort of identity. My most intense hatred is for furries. They simply should not exist. It is axiomatic that furriness is wrong.
A pointless thing I do from time to time is click the random journal link on this site. The random journal I get is usually some fandom shit, usually fanfic, which is even worse than most fandom, cringier and more annoying, because fanfic writers' preoccupation with fandom characters has become an obsession. One or two fanfics would be ok. But a whole blog of fanfic? No. Create your own damned characters.
Today I came across an autistic person's journal. I tried to read some of it, but the shit was full of furry art. The images were less visually assaulting than other furry art I've seen, but they were still the essence of cringe. The entry I was trying to read had nothing to do with furriness or art, but there was the furry art anymow, breaking up the post with it's irrelevance.
Like 90% of (English-writing) Dreamwidth users seem to be mentally ill, fanfic-writing pronoun people. It's so creepy. Maybe if I trying searching divergent interests like MAGA or something, I'll find some diversity on this site.
Damn. MAGA: 3 users. Trump: 5 users. Conservatism at least has 33 users.
I've thought about creating a community but I don't know anyone so there'd be no way to get anyone to join it. And it seems I have nothing in common with most of the users here anyhow.
I'm lonely now that I have this crush and it's difficult to ignore but there's not much I can do but focus on becoming employed. I'm becoming desperate for work.
Last night was a success. I had half a cup of cornstarch mixed into some water just before going to bed, and, according to the reader, my blood glucose level did not tank. I think I had too much dark chocolate too late in the evening to sleep much last night, but I hope that tonight I can manage a full night's worth of sleep.
I saw the nutritionist today and she basically suggested that I have more fat to prevent my blood sugar from dropping. I told her I was already having walnuts and about a tablespoon of mixed seeds during my first meal, and she suggested adding another tablespoon of seeds. That seems like a lot of fat calories. I don't want to decrease the amount of carbs I eat to accommodate more calories from fat because fat is less satisfying than carbs, and I don't want to increase my suffering on this diet.
Another headache today, took my migraine meds but the headache hasn't gone away.
I hate fandom shit now. I'm so sick of every other person online acting like the TV shows they like constitute some sort of identity. My most intense hatred is for furries. They simply should not exist. It is axiomatic that furriness is wrong.
A pointless thing I do from time to time is click the random journal link on this site. The random journal I get is usually some fandom shit, usually fanfic, which is even worse than most fandom, cringier and more annoying, because fanfic writers' preoccupation with fandom characters has become an obsession. One or two fanfics would be ok. But a whole blog of fanfic? No. Create your own damned characters.
Today I came across an autistic person's journal. I tried to read some of it, but the shit was full of furry art. The images were less visually assaulting than other furry art I've seen, but they were still the essence of cringe. The entry I was trying to read had nothing to do with furriness or art, but there was the furry art anymow, breaking up the post with it's irrelevance.
Like 90% of (English-writing) Dreamwidth users seem to be mentally ill, fanfic-writing pronoun people. It's so creepy. Maybe if I trying searching divergent interests like MAGA or something, I'll find some diversity on this site.
Damn. MAGA: 3 users. Trump: 5 users. Conservatism at least has 33 users.
I've thought about creating a community but I don't know anyone so there'd be no way to get anyone to join it. And it seems I have nothing in common with most of the users here anyhow.
