Off and On Again with the Hoodie

[disappointed_lesbian]

Singlehood is difficult.

Hot days + hotflashes are an uncomfortable combination. I hope the hotflashes mean that I'll skip another period or two.

I still woke up with chilly feet last night despite all the iron I drank, so I had even more tonight.

I rejoined a different forum, one I was on perhaps a decade ago. The forum was down for months and there was a rumor that it had been hacked or something. There is much less activity now, which is slightly frustrating. A lot of the activity that exists is dumb, incoherent, and consists of people being continually down on themselves, calling themselves stupid and worthless in thread after thread. Self-hating autistic people.

I spend hours and hours working on my presentation. Now my right elbow has become sore from the repetitive activity. I should finish my first podcast episode tomorrow; I'm ten minutes into a thirteen-minute, thirty-second episode. I'm glad because I'm bored with creating learning content for this episode. This shit takes so much time that it would be better to find another study method, so that's in the back of my mind. It seems that the time I spend fiddling with software is time I could be using to study instead, but perhaps the fiddling is unavoidable. I have to remind myself that the act of looking up and copying/pasting definitions helps me to remember them. It's perhaps not the most efficient activity, but it's not worthless.

I've been neglecting job search, which is just going to delay my escape. Job searching simply isn't an engaging activity because I never achieve much of anything with it.

Realistically, it'll be months before my skin looks any better. It makes no sense for me to keep looking in the mirror day after day, expecting something new.

post-mood: tired