Success Finally
Apr. 26th, 2026 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disappointed_lesbianToday is an historic occasion because I finally managed to skip a meal. For breakfast I had nothing but two heaping spoonfuls of thawed wild blueberries and perhaps a tablespoon of soy milk in my black tea with mct oil. I wasn't terribly hungry but drinking black tea on an empty stomach gives me nausea. I had a little coconut sugar in the tea as well.
This was after I got back from an hour and a half morning walk, before which I had coffee and espresso+mct oil. I chanced a bit more espresso than I've been having, and that seems to have made the difference in my hunger. What I said in my last post was wrong; the mct oil certainly does affect my appetite, but I need to have it with the right amount of caffeine. After my walk, when I normally have breakfast, I wasn't sure I'd make it without eating and was hesitant to potentially make myself ill trying, but I didn't feel very hungry, so try I did. Skipping breakfast was great for my studies; I had more time to get through the morning's new vocab. In the past, I wouldn't have been able to focus, but the right dose of caffeine makes all the difference it seems.
The second dose of caffeine, the black tea+mct, got me through my late morning workout, I guess we'll call it: bench press, then spinning bike, followed by forty-five minutes to an hour on the treadmill. I love this goddamned treadmill. Walking on the treadmill is like the finishing touch for my workouts.
I wasn't extra hungry at lunch, but having an extra slice of tofu helped fend off hunger later. I still needed a snack, so I had what I normally have for breakfast with a smaller serving of oats. Dinner was tiny: I had just the first course, rice, potatoes, and green peas, and felt fine, so I didn't make the tofu and veggies that was going to be the second course.
I've noticed that I'm losing my taste for condiments. I used to put soy sauce and coconut aminos in the rice and veggies I usually have for lunch. Then I began to leave out one or the other. Most recently, I don't want either, and the rice is seasoned only with salt, sometimes a chopped seaweed+sesame seed topping, and a tasty sort of cooked-on flavor that sticks to the inside of the rice cooker when it hasn't been cleaned for more than a few days. I have this rice with tofu, which I usually season with sweet and sour sauce and occasionally bbq sauce or nutritional yeast. Today the sweet and sour sauce I've been in love with these past few months seemed like too much flavor.
I'm glad I can skip breakfast because the fewer staple calories I consume, the more veggies, fruit, and low-cal sweetener I can afford. The diet should go by much more quickly now. I thought cutting my oats in half would achieve that, but seems like it made little difference, and indeed, in the mirror I look rather like I've gained weight, but that could just be bloating.
Now, in terms of appearance, I need to focus on my face. I've been slacking on moisturizer, and I suspect that's part of the reason for the new hyperpigmentation. I have a rough time finding a facial moisturizer because products either break me out or contain ingredients I don't trust. I use vegetable glycerin but it is not moisturizing enough by itself. For years I've been wanting to mix it with aloe vera, but the cleanest aloe vera products I've found contain citric acid, which doesn't seem like a good thing to put on my face daily. I finally found a seemingly suitable aloe vera skincare product today, but I'm going to wait until I get my May income so I don't empty my checking out paying for it + shipping and handling. I'm going to get some squalane too maybe.
I can't wait to get away from usian men. Growing up in this country is traumatizing.
Perhaps I'll try less screen time before bed. I didn't work before, but things are different now; I'm sleeping more deeply, taking melatonin at the right time apparently. The problem is that I have nothing to do during the time between leaving the computer and getting ready for bed. I have nothing to read, and the time seems better spent studying Mandarin. And I have so much horrible shit in my mind that I'm loathe to be alone with just my thoughts.
A killer recently got trampled by elephants:
https://nz.news.yahoo.com/millionaire-big-game-hunter-trampled-175641549.html
Good riddance. Rich asshole using his money to go globe-trotting on killing sprees. What trash is there amongst humanity.
This was after I got back from an hour and a half morning walk, before which I had coffee and espresso+mct oil. I chanced a bit more espresso than I've been having, and that seems to have made the difference in my hunger. What I said in my last post was wrong; the mct oil certainly does affect my appetite, but I need to have it with the right amount of caffeine. After my walk, when I normally have breakfast, I wasn't sure I'd make it without eating and was hesitant to potentially make myself ill trying, but I didn't feel very hungry, so try I did. Skipping breakfast was great for my studies; I had more time to get through the morning's new vocab. In the past, I wouldn't have been able to focus, but the right dose of caffeine makes all the difference it seems.
The second dose of caffeine, the black tea+mct, got me through my late morning workout, I guess we'll call it: bench press, then spinning bike, followed by forty-five minutes to an hour on the treadmill. I love this goddamned treadmill. Walking on the treadmill is like the finishing touch for my workouts.
I wasn't extra hungry at lunch, but having an extra slice of tofu helped fend off hunger later. I still needed a snack, so I had what I normally have for breakfast with a smaller serving of oats. Dinner was tiny: I had just the first course, rice, potatoes, and green peas, and felt fine, so I didn't make the tofu and veggies that was going to be the second course.
I've noticed that I'm losing my taste for condiments. I used to put soy sauce and coconut aminos in the rice and veggies I usually have for lunch. Then I began to leave out one or the other. Most recently, I don't want either, and the rice is seasoned only with salt, sometimes a chopped seaweed+sesame seed topping, and a tasty sort of cooked-on flavor that sticks to the inside of the rice cooker when it hasn't been cleaned for more than a few days. I have this rice with tofu, which I usually season with sweet and sour sauce and occasionally bbq sauce or nutritional yeast. Today the sweet and sour sauce I've been in love with these past few months seemed like too much flavor.
I'm glad I can skip breakfast because the fewer staple calories I consume, the more veggies, fruit, and low-cal sweetener I can afford. The diet should go by much more quickly now. I thought cutting my oats in half would achieve that, but seems like it made little difference, and indeed, in the mirror I look rather like I've gained weight, but that could just be bloating.
Now, in terms of appearance, I need to focus on my face. I've been slacking on moisturizer, and I suspect that's part of the reason for the new hyperpigmentation. I have a rough time finding a facial moisturizer because products either break me out or contain ingredients I don't trust. I use vegetable glycerin but it is not moisturizing enough by itself. For years I've been wanting to mix it with aloe vera, but the cleanest aloe vera products I've found contain citric acid, which doesn't seem like a good thing to put on my face daily. I finally found a seemingly suitable aloe vera skincare product today, but I'm going to wait until I get my May income so I don't empty my checking out paying for it + shipping and handling. I'm going to get some squalane too maybe.
I can't wait to get away from usian men. Growing up in this country is traumatizing.
Perhaps I'll try less screen time before bed. I didn't work before, but things are different now; I'm sleeping more deeply, taking melatonin at the right time apparently. The problem is that I have nothing to do during the time between leaving the computer and getting ready for bed. I have nothing to read, and the time seems better spent studying Mandarin. And I have so much horrible shit in my mind that I'm loathe to be alone with just my thoughts.
A killer recently got trampled by elephants:
https://nz.news.yahoo.com/millionaire-big-game-hunter-trampled-175641549.html
Good riddance. Rich asshole using his money to go globe-trotting on killing sprees. What trash is there amongst humanity.
