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disappointed_lesbianWell, today is a new day and I'm not freezing, so my crushed iron pill solution seems to be a success.
I went out of town for a bit more grocery shopping today, ran for the bus home, got a bit sweaty and gave myself a headache because I was borderline dehydrated when I started running, and I still missed the bus by about five minutes. I took the time to go to another grocery store, but the things I wanted were out of stock.
I'm tired and my head hurts. Running triggered traumatic thoughts and memories. Let's just say that the female body is over-sexualized no matter what it's doing or how it's clothed.
Well. I got exercise.
Just after I'd left the first grocery store, I stopped at a nearby bus stop to pull my audio player and earphones out of my backpack. The womon sitting at the stop asked me whether the large vehicle approaching was a bus or a truck. I caught a whiff of smoke and figured out that she'd just been smoking or maybe was still smoking. Smoking at bus stops is against the bus company's rules (maybe against the law, too), and it annoyed me that yet another ass was being selfish. Dealing with cigarette smoke while waiting for buses is unpleasant (and unhealthy).
She looked like a medical crisis waiting to happen, and that's not because of her age.I said that the vehicle was a truck and she complained that the next bus wouldn't come for an hour and a half. The lack of buses was why I was going to walk back to the bus depot. She looked incapable of walking very far, and I noted that the smoking wasn't helping her; it may even have been the reason.
Trashy people destroying themselves, I'm tired of being around this shit. I can't stand being around lower-class people; when they aren't destroying someone else's life, they're destroying their own. They are the reason I moved here, to get away from them. Street crime, drugs, lack of education, feral dogs, unruly kids, they've got it all. They're loud and inconsiderate and half of them are smokers.
It really gets on my nerves when people try to paint class/poverty as sickening and killing these people, because I've seen their habits my whole life, and I can see that they kill themselves. Here I continually see slim elderly people out getting exercise; when I go into town, I see them smoking while they sit in their walkers, hauling their morbidly obesity fleshmountains up onto buses to take up multiple seats. Lower-class people either don't know how to take care of themselves or don't bother.
I was raised by lower-class people so I got to see some of their dysfunction first-hand. Both of my parents were obese, my mother was a smoker, quit, then took it up again at some point. My father died suddenly, of diabetes complications, because the dumbass didn't even know that he had diabetes. He liked large womyn and called overweightness "healthy." He was a criminal nearly his whole life, started as a teenager, got my mom involved and that's how she ended up in prison. I literally never saw him work an honest job, never even saw him try. He sired child after child with a bunch of different womyn without regard to whether he could support or even spend time with them all, convinced my mother to get off birth control and that's how I ended up born to trash. Education was not valued, my dad dropped out in junior high, I was not enrolled in school until third grade, there were almost no books in the house, that's why as a child I read the dictionary out of desperation and then tried my older sister's English novels once she started college. I could go on. Just pure trash human beings, worth so little to society that they're literally better off dead. ,
I am fatigued by job search. There is basically almost no way for me to even find a job I can do. The job market is very specialized, and I don't have much of a specialty. People who post online about searching for work seem so miserable that I feel that I should just give up and enjoy my life on welfare as much as I can. If I lack the energy to find a job here, it's not likely that I'll have what it takes to find employment in Taiwan.
Furthermore, what I've gathered from reading the Taiwan sub-reddit over the past couple of years is that the work culture of Taiwan is toxic and Taiwanese employers should be avoided. But working for a USian employer would somewhat defeat the purpose of leaving this country: getting away from these people. A European employer would probably be best, but how many of those exist, what kind of skills do they want, and how competitive are their jobs?
Just going out to shop today once again reminded me of how delicate my neurology is, how exhausting is the bustle of a city. I'm afraid I'll end up immersed in that bustle even moreso in Taiwan, where I'll have no choice but to work. I won't be able to function. Public transportation isn't great outside of cities, and there's no way I'll try driving in that country (and I won't be able to afford a car anyhow).
Taiwan has homeless people, I was a bit dismayed but not totally surprised to find. If I didn't simply get kicked out of the country, I'd probably end up as one of them.
I felt rather hopeful about my employment prospects once I noticed that I'm no longer cold, but really, everything is mostly still hopeless.
Perhaps my single competitive advantage is that I'm willing to live and work in remote areas of the country. Without a vehicle, I'd have to find a place where I could access basic services as a pedestrian.
Maybe I should just give up and accept my shitty life here.
I wonder whether I will begin to feel any warmer. If I do, I could consider a colder place. No, who am I kidding. I'm exhausted just thinking about that.
Things seem easier if I remember to take just one step at a time. I forget sometimes that I'm supposed to put at least a year of education first, before making any longer-term decisions. But even that is tiring, logistically complicated.
I had so much tofu for dinner; I am stuffed.
I went out of town for a bit more grocery shopping today, ran for the bus home, got a bit sweaty and gave myself a headache because I was borderline dehydrated when I started running, and I still missed the bus by about five minutes. I took the time to go to another grocery store, but the things I wanted were out of stock.
I'm tired and my head hurts. Running triggered traumatic thoughts and memories. Let's just say that the female body is over-sexualized no matter what it's doing or how it's clothed.
Well. I got exercise.
Just after I'd left the first grocery store, I stopped at a nearby bus stop to pull my audio player and earphones out of my backpack. The womon sitting at the stop asked me whether the large vehicle approaching was a bus or a truck. I caught a whiff of smoke and figured out that she'd just been smoking or maybe was still smoking. Smoking at bus stops is against the bus company's rules (maybe against the law, too), and it annoyed me that yet another ass was being selfish. Dealing with cigarette smoke while waiting for buses is unpleasant (and unhealthy).
She looked like a medical crisis waiting to happen, and that's not because of her age.I said that the vehicle was a truck and she complained that the next bus wouldn't come for an hour and a half. The lack of buses was why I was going to walk back to the bus depot. She looked incapable of walking very far, and I noted that the smoking wasn't helping her; it may even have been the reason.
Trashy people destroying themselves, I'm tired of being around this shit. I can't stand being around lower-class people; when they aren't destroying someone else's life, they're destroying their own. They are the reason I moved here, to get away from them. Street crime, drugs, lack of education, feral dogs, unruly kids, they've got it all. They're loud and inconsiderate and half of them are smokers.
It really gets on my nerves when people try to paint class/poverty as sickening and killing these people, because I've seen their habits my whole life, and I can see that they kill themselves. Here I continually see slim elderly people out getting exercise; when I go into town, I see them smoking while they sit in their walkers, hauling their morbidly obesity fleshmountains up onto buses to take up multiple seats. Lower-class people either don't know how to take care of themselves or don't bother.
I was raised by lower-class people so I got to see some of their dysfunction first-hand. Both of my parents were obese, my mother was a smoker, quit, then took it up again at some point. My father died suddenly, of diabetes complications, because the dumbass didn't even know that he had diabetes. He liked large womyn and called overweightness "healthy." He was a criminal nearly his whole life, started as a teenager, got my mom involved and that's how she ended up in prison. I literally never saw him work an honest job, never even saw him try. He sired child after child with a bunch of different womyn without regard to whether he could support or even spend time with them all, convinced my mother to get off birth control and that's how I ended up born to trash. Education was not valued, my dad dropped out in junior high, I was not enrolled in school until third grade, there were almost no books in the house, that's why as a child I read the dictionary out of desperation and then tried my older sister's English novels once she started college. I could go on. Just pure trash human beings, worth so little to society that they're literally better off dead. ,
I am fatigued by job search. There is basically almost no way for me to even find a job I can do. The job market is very specialized, and I don't have much of a specialty. People who post online about searching for work seem so miserable that I feel that I should just give up and enjoy my life on welfare as much as I can. If I lack the energy to find a job here, it's not likely that I'll have what it takes to find employment in Taiwan.
Furthermore, what I've gathered from reading the Taiwan sub-reddit over the past couple of years is that the work culture of Taiwan is toxic and Taiwanese employers should be avoided. But working for a USian employer would somewhat defeat the purpose of leaving this country: getting away from these people. A European employer would probably be best, but how many of those exist, what kind of skills do they want, and how competitive are their jobs?
Just going out to shop today once again reminded me of how delicate my neurology is, how exhausting is the bustle of a city. I'm afraid I'll end up immersed in that bustle even moreso in Taiwan, where I'll have no choice but to work. I won't be able to function. Public transportation isn't great outside of cities, and there's no way I'll try driving in that country (and I won't be able to afford a car anyhow).
Taiwan has homeless people, I was a bit dismayed but not totally surprised to find. If I didn't simply get kicked out of the country, I'd probably end up as one of them.
I felt rather hopeful about my employment prospects once I noticed that I'm no longer cold, but really, everything is mostly still hopeless.
Perhaps my single competitive advantage is that I'm willing to live and work in remote areas of the country. Without a vehicle, I'd have to find a place where I could access basic services as a pedestrian.
Maybe I should just give up and accept my shitty life here.
I wonder whether I will begin to feel any warmer. If I do, I could consider a colder place. No, who am I kidding. I'm exhausted just thinking about that.
Things seem easier if I remember to take just one step at a time. I forget sometimes that I'm supposed to put at least a year of education first, before making any longer-term decisions. But even that is tiring, logistically complicated.
I had so much tofu for dinner; I am stuffed.
