Felt Refreshed for once

[disappointed_lesbian]

Today was a good day. I woke up feeling rather refreshed for the first time in forever. I assume that I got more sleep or deeper sleep than usual even though it seems that I took forever to fall asleep. I ran out of melatonin, got desperate, and had like a third of a trazodone pill. I actually bought some melatonin the day before yesterday, but it seems I got cheated because the stuff has no effect.

Really pissed me off because I couldn't really afford it, but the number of days I've gone without sufficient sleep was (and still is) close to what causes me stomach pain, which I'm quite keen to avoid. Who knows when or if the sleep medicine department will fulfill my request for more melatonin, and, even if they do, they'll probably send the delayed-release melatonin, which doesn't work well for my insomnia because I have trouble falling asleep and delayed-release melatonin just...delays what's already delayed.

So I got desperate and took the trazodone even though it's been way too strong for me in the past and seemed like it just kind of knocked me out and left me groggy all the following day rather than helping me get into deep sleep. But I didn't experience that today. I probably would if I keep taking it, however.

I also finally managed to get to the one store in town where I can buy protein powder with food stamps. Not only did I get my favorite rice powder (Nutribiotic), I also got to try something new: pumpkin seed protein powder. I tried to make a peanut butter protein cookie with these two this afternoon and found the latter gave the batter a very sticky consistency, so I won't be mixing it the same way next time.

I'm struggling to get back into more lengthy study sessions (lately I've been simply waiting until the last minute aka shortly before bedtime to rush through my daily Arabic and German vocabulary). Instead of studying (or cleaning the apartment or anything else productive), I've been playing computer games while listening to bodybuilding youtube videos for far too much of the day lately. I finally figured out that fatigue is part of the reason for my "laziness" (I put it in quotation marks because laziness is not a real thing to me because everyone has a legit reason for not doing whatever they don't do). Since I felt so much more energetic today, I'm hoping that's coming to an end.

Still having problems with my skin. Part of my face improves, part worsens. I guess I should just leave it alone.

I mailed off a new pair of eyeglass frames today. I'm FINALLY going to get Irlen lenses. I started trying to get them a decade ago, but I couldn't figure out how to do so. With so many medical problems, mainstream medicine cannot help me. I get tired of that shit.