Stop fretting over accusations of racism

post-format: "html" post-tags: racism, shopping, social media, money, insomnia post-mood: tired

Today I went looking to buy a heated blanket or heating pad because I could no longer take chilly bedclothes, especially since chilly bedclothes prevent me from falling asleep. I checked a couple of places last night but found nothing ideal (the heating pads were too small) or affordable (I live in a town with a high cost of living, so...). So today, I went over to the next town. I still couldn't afford what I found there. My options were waiting until I get paid on the first, taking a long bus ride to check Walmart (that's a cheap department store infamous for underpaying employees, for those of you who didn't know), and getting some extra cash to pay for what I'd found.

The second store I checked happened to be across the street from a payday loan place that I've used before. My income is so low that I qualify for only a fifty-dollar loan, but that was enough to cover the heated throw I'd found in the drug store next to the second store I'd checked. I of course have to pay interest on the loan, but it's only just under nine dollars. Still, I prefer to avoid getting these loans because even ten bucks is a lot given that my monthly income is about one hundred and eighty dollars. However, I decided that a headache (which is what a long bus ride to Walmart would have gotten me) plus the risk of more lack of sleep (plus the frustration and stomach pain that comes with it) were more expensive than that ten bucks. So I went over, got the loan, re-crossed the street, and bought the throw.

Assuming the thing works...what a relief to know that I won't be crawling into a cold blanket tonight or sitting around waiting for my tiny heating pad (which was intended for body aches) to heat up one section of my sleeping bag so that I can move it to another section while hoping that the first section doesn't cool down too much in the meantime. (I sleep on the floor, by the way).

My skin has peeled wonderfully! Sticking my face directly into the steam seems to have worked well. I could be more cautious, but why bother; it's unlikely that I could make things worse. So I'm now ready to peel my whole face.

During the bus ride home from today's shopping trip, I was thinking about a forum thread that was ostensibly about the meaning of cultural appropriation, but actually seemed to be more about the thread poster's preoccupation with people accusing others of cultural appropriation. It reminded me of something I've noticed: whitey being preoccupied with being accused of racism. (Whitey is a lazy and slightly humorous way of saying "white-privileged people," and this part of the post applies to the United States; I don't know much about racial dynamics in other parts of the world). I don't have a lot of hard evidence concerning how much this happens, but I've seen it happen enough times to notice a pattern.

It's totally whitey's problem, but it bothers me because it seems that whitey is often more concerned with being called racist than with whether they actually are racists. I hope it's obvious that the latter is much worse than the former. And where this concerns me, this thing that is fundamentally a psychological problem for whitey and not my problem, is that the focus of these discussions of racism (sometimes there isn't even an accusation) seems to tilt towards whitey's hurt feelings, excuses, and defensiveness, instead of whitey really trying to understand why something they think or do might be racist or perceived as racist or have unequal outcomes according to race even if no personal racism is involved. Since I benefit from whitey being less racist, their avoiding or missing opportunities to develop a better understanding of racism (which could help them be less racist) affects me. And something else I have noticed is that whitey tends to be quite ignorant of the less blatant forms of racism, so there is definitely room for this improvement they are potentially missing out on.

Granted, some of these discussions and/or accusations of racism are just SJW bullshit. This poses one of two problems: either whitey is too ignorant about racism to differentiate between legit anti-racist discourse and SJW bullshit, or whitey is too busy with knee-jerk defensiveness to step back and notice that SJW bullshit is afoot. At least, that's how it seems to me. I see people wasting time arguing with SJWs...maybe they are just new to SJW's and haven't yet learned to not bother with them.

Anyways, my point is that if whitey wants to be not racist, they should just...not be racist. It's not terribly difficult. The defenses and the excuses on social media aren't necessary, probably aren't a good way to spend time. The other side of that coin, however, is that sometimes there are legitimate points made about aspects of racism, of which whitey is oblivious. Yet sometimes the people making these points aren't as skilled or patient or calm or articulate as whitey needs to grasp the point. Any of whitey who is concerned about accidentally doing or saying something racist (and some of them do seem to feel as though they must walk on eggshells), I would direct to read one of the many books that have now been written about racism from the perspective of those who experience being a racialized minority. Those books probably go into the more subtle aspects of racism, more subtle than what the average white-privileged person knows, anyhow.

Maybe don't bother getting into discussions on the topic with strangers until after reading a couple of those books and/or blogs or whatever on the topic. Avoid the heated exchanges and the opportunity for defensiveness (I'm assuming whitey can read a book on racism without getting defensive, but I know some can't even manage that).

This advice also goes for the creeps who try to "prove" how non-racist they are and/or try to artifically make themselves non-racist by bending over backwards to act "nice" to ethnic minorities (your "niceness" is fake), to collect and brag about brown-skinned friends and/or romantic/sexual partners as tokens of your open-mindedness, to take the words of one or a few ethnic minorities as racism gospel and mindlessly try to apply that person's perspective to us all, etc. When you understand, truly understand, that we are individuals, that some of us are assholes, that some of us are SJWs, that some of us are just wrong or paranoid (racism does that to people sometimes) or hurting/tired of the bullshit and taking it out on you, that some of us are scholars on the topic of racism, that some of us don't want to be your friends whether you're a non-racist or not, then you will be well on your way to truly not being a racist. If, however, your being hurt about any discussion of racism is more important to you than people discussing racism (which is an important tool for coping with and decreasing racism), then you are a self-centered piece of shit and you are moving in the opposite direction. It's possible to experience one's emotions without making everything about one's emotions. False accusations won't kill you.

As for this word "whitey"...take a look at the beginning of this clip from the comedy "The Jerk," which is one reason why the word grew on me:

https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=9koQG3RFEkE

It's also a word my dad used while I was growing up, and, though I didn't know this then, it's just a known term that makes it easier to discuss whitey's brand of racism.